This episode is about a topic near and dear to our hearts; healthy social media and tech boundaries. When you not only live in a technology-filled world but also work in the tech and marketing industry it's even more important to create boundaries for yourself. In this episode, Lauren and Brian talk through some of the pitfalls of social media on our mental health, things we love about social media, and ways to ensure we maintain a positive relationship with it.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thanks for joining us here for the Dogwood Media Solutions podcast. I'm Brian Harris, one of your hosts here, and we can't wait to get this next podcast started. We're gonna talk about some healthy social media boundaries. Got my guest, Lauren Comey in the house. So make sure you tune in, stay tuned in and join us right now.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hi, and welcome to the Dogwood Media Solutions podcast. I'm Brian Harris, your host for today's episode. And again, I'll have joining me for the second time in our podcast series for now, this being episode six, we've made it six episodes already. Lauren crazy. I know you're now you're back. So this is kinda like a recreation of the first episode, <laugh> in a lot of ways. You know, number episode of one and six, we've already gone through a lot of subjects over the past couple weeks here. I have a different guest getting to, bringing everyone in and I've sat down with different couple people you've had a chance to host now, and here we are back together. Yeah. And, uh, we'll, we'll tell 'em about a surprise at the end of this podcast too for our next episode. It's gonna be, it's gonna like just blow people's minds, so Oh, I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yes. They're gonna be so excited about it. So, so Lauren is our account manager here at Dogwood. We talked about that in episode one or all she does. Uh, and so today's actual topic we're gonna be talking about is right along those lines. Um, with social media and tech, it is literally we're talking about healthy social media and tech boundaries. Uh, and so this is one that I'm kind of passionate about also too. And cuz every once in a while I need a break, especially us being in this kind of company that we are in, in a marketing company where we're in social media all the time. Uh, we have to be really careful for our, our staff for one, to make sure that they're not getting caught in these, these loops that social media and tech can cause. But also for our, we just me and you and for other people, we care about making sure that they're not getting called in these things. So, um, the article of course, is always gonna be email@example.com. If you go there, click on blogs, you can search back through it, you can find the original article that Lauren wrote. Um, but we're gonna kind of go a little more in depth in that article like we always do. And so, uh, Lauren, I'm gonna let you kind of take it away and introduce the article that you, that you wrote. Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah. So this article is actually one that I originally wrote, um, in 2021 I think. And then, um, we've just been going through some of our content and, you know, re-opt, optimizing it, historical optimization. I'm sure that'll be something we talk about on the podcast at some point. But just adding into it, and it's so interesting that no matter how long we I'm in this industry, um, this is still just such a important topic and, um, and it changes over time as to what the best way to kind of create those boundaries is. But it's always so important to continuously be just taking inventory of how we're using social media and how it's affecting us and our personal lives and our mental health and that kind of thing. And like you said, it's important for our employees, but it's also important for us as individuals just to be able to separate, you know, work and, and home and real life versus social life and all that kind of good stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
So that was really what kind of brought this on, was just trying to look into ways that we can make sure that, that we have a healthy relationship with social media and just digital media in general, but then also not only have a healthy relationship with it as far as taking care of ourselves, but also just allowing us to enjoy it more. Because I mean, a lot of times we use social media for things that it wasn't meant for or we allow it to impact us in a negative way and it takes away the joy of the things that we did love about social media. So, um, yeah, that was kind of the thought.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
And that's one of the thing that's great about this article we wrote is we had a lot of our staff kind of, uh, put their expertise into this and kind of share, uh, some of their tips. And so, and also we had some people that we've connected with outside of Dogwood, uh, to insert it, some of their, uh, expert advice also too that we'll kind of, uh, touch on a little bit. But the first tip you had on here was to do a social audit. Uh, so tell us how that works.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah, so several years ago, probably back when I was in college, I kind of originally took this piece of advice. Um, I don't remember who originally told me to do this, but it's something that I do every six months or so now. But basically the concept is to go through your social media and look at who you're following and just figure out is this person worth me following anymore? And that's not an indictment on them as a person, but it is a situation of, okay, does this person's content, you know, make me feel uncomfortable? Does this person's content make me compare myself to them and make me play the comparison game and make me feel worse about myself? Um, do I feel like I'm just not learning anything from their content anymore? Um, and if any of those negative things are true about that person and their content, then they don't need to be somebody that you follow. Um, so basically it's just going through and seeing who you're following. Is the content that they're producing bringing joy and encouragement and life, um, to you? Or is it something that's, you know, bringing you down, causing you to have self-doubt or, you know, body image issues or whatever it might be. And just making sure that the things that we are, um, bringing into our lives via social media are things that are life-giving and things that are gonna help us out in the long
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Run. I know I've done this with businesses in the past also too, uh, where we've gone through and looked at who the people were they were following, uh, because that shows up in that feed also too. And just gone through and done an audit to see like, okay, who are you following? How does this benefit your business? And not only that, but just doing that same thing and applying it to your personal life. And like you mentioned, just looking for those things that are not, not where you wanna be. I, I did this personally when I was going through my Twitter account. I kept having the, the same person that kept showing up on my Twitter feed and I realized, oh, guess what? I'm following them. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I don't need to be following this person any longer. Cause every time I read their stuff it just makes me angry. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah. Well, and Twitter's Twitter is actually a good point to bring up anyways, because Twitter's algorithm is not the same as like an Instagram or a Facebook feed where like the majority of the things you see are people you're following. Twitter intentionally shows you things from people that are either connected to somebody you follow or just something that they think you might like interact with mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so you also have to be, to be careful of those things. Cuz I know there have been several occasions where I've seen something on Twitter and I'm like, this person is infuriating. Why on earth am I getting their stuff? And then I'm not following them, but somebody I'm following is following them. So I have to go in and block them or mute them or whatever. Yeah. So that's another aspect of this too, especially on Twitter's just paying attention to all the things that the algorithms throwing at you.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I hate it when it sends you emails. Yeah. And, and it's like, it has tweets in there. Like, I know I don't follow this person, but that's something they've started doing too. And I'm like, some of those are like, I don't want people to think I'm following this person. I
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Turn those off
Speaker 1 (06:31):
<laugh>. I, I I know, but I like getting the updates just because of who we are. Yeah. Like, just to know, I don't wanna get the suggestions, but I wanna know, like make sure that we're following what's happening with Twitter mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so I, I still get those and I'll get 'em from multiple of our clients also too. Yeah. And I'll kind, I'm like, no, why, why is this coming in <laugh> <laugh>. Well the next tip on there, uh, was avoid performative posting. So tell us a little bit more about what that means. Yeah,
Speaker 2 (06:54):
So social media, especially Instagram is really kind of what I'm thinking about in this is it's very much so a an aesthetic. It's a, it's a lifestyle. You've got your Instagram, uh, influencers and your mom bloggers and your whatevers. And especially for people I think in my generation that like have grown up with Instagram all this time. What
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Generation is that Lauren?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Uh, I would consider myself a millennial. Okay. Some people would argue with me and say that I'm a gen zer, but Gen Z doesn't want me and millennials don't want me. I'm a 1997 baby. So what can I say? Um, but since we grew up with that Instagram culture, I think it's really easy for us to post in order to get likes or post in order to look like our life is a certain way, even if it's not. And it just makes social media miserable because everything you post, you feel like it has to be the right aesthetic and it feels like it has to have the perfect little quippy caption and just all that kind of good stuff. And it takes the joy out of posting, at least in my experience. It takes the enjoyment out of posting. And so I kind of had to figure out like what is the purpose of my accounts?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
And for me, like my Facebook is largely for me to update family and friends about my life. My Instagram is where I post a lot of the things that are important to me. So you'll find pictures of my dogs, you'll find pictures of trips me and my husband go on. You'll find random pictures of whatever I'm crocheting or reading or whatever it is. And like, they're not a pretty aesthetic that's like all the same color and like perfectly, you know, edited images and whatever. Like it's just my life. And I had to learn to be okay with that because I figured out that I was posting four other people and it was taking all the fun out of it. I needed to start posting for myself and make sure that if Instagram has the purpose that I want it to have for myself, then cool if I get zero likes on a post. But it made, made me happy. Awesome.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
So 13 year old Emo Lauren, uh, probably took that picture like 20 times before she posted it, is what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
That's exactly what I'm saying there. I am sure there are some selfies on my Instagram if you scroll back far enough that are of 13 year old Emo Lauren <laugh>. So,
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well the next one, I think it's a very easy one for people to understand. It's literally take a break. I, I know that's something that even I have to do, especially like on the weekends when it's a little bit easier for us cuz we can literally take a break. Is is ba saying, Hey, I'm, I'm not gonna pick up my phone today or I'm not gonna get on my computer today and look at this. Is there any other tips on that?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah. Um, so taking a break. I think when we talk about taking a break, we think about those annoying people who like post about it and say, I'm taking a break from social media and then they post every day and I wanted you all to know, to
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Know how good
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Their break is. Right. Exactly. But like, honestly, it doesn't have to be this like long term, you know, I'm getting off of social media for a year or whatever. For some people, like for me when I say take a break, most of the time that just means that I put my phone back in my bedroom and I don't touch it for the night. Um, but yeah, there's lots of different ways to take a break, whether it's creating, um, those time limits on iPhones and I'm sure other, other smartphone inferior phones have it, right. But <laugh> Yeah. The inferior phones, um, you can set up timers where if you've spent x number of time on a certain type of app, um, it'll shut it down to where you have to put in a code. And if you're smart, which we'll talk about in a little bit, one of our, our coworkers, um, had somebody else create her code so that she couldn't go in and, and change it. Um, oh wow. Yeah. So that's one way of taking a break. You know, there's the obvious like taking a week off of social media or taking a day off of social media. Um, but yeah, whatever it is, whether it's just putting your phone in another room or it's staying like every Sunday I'm going to, you know, stay off social media, stay off my phone. Just taking that time to kind of get away from the online world and focus on the actual physical world is super great.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I think I've told you about the thing I've set up for Sunday mornings mm-hmm. <affirmative> where it literally, uh, my phone, it starts at 8:00 AM and goes till noon. That's the time we're at church. And so I even, I have my phone with me still because I use it for my Bible or, uh, if I need to hop on there and look up something, especially, uh, uh, if I'm just curious. But I, I still set it up where I don't get the notifications anymore. Um, because I found that when I was getting Facebook notifications or email notifications, it was a distraction from time in church. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so like you talk about this take a break. That's literally my biggest break on Sunday mornings when I have that set up. But of course I have it done every night too. I have the same settings where it goes in and cuts off my phone at 10 30 at night.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Right. And I have the, the emergency contact set up. They're, they're the only people that can break through basically, uh, to be able to contact me during that time because I need to sleep <laugh>. Right. And I don't want to hear notifications. I remember one person told me, uh, we had an email notification set up for our client and it went out at four o'clock in the morning and he said, <laugh>, you're gonna love this. He said, why don't you, why are we sending out the email at four o'clock in the morning? It wakes you up every morning. <laugh>, <laugh>. And I was like, why is your phone on <laugh>? Do you not get other notifications or emails in the middle of the night too? Yeah, just, it's just, just that one. Apparently that's the one that wakes him up at four o'clock any morning That's, I was like, well maybe God was telling you you need to get up and have a quiet time at 4:00 AM I don't, I I can't explain why that one email wakes you up at four o'clock every morning. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Funny. But so just all like to say is not everyone knows how to do that. Uh, it is, it's if you don't know how, there's some definitely some guides out there that, that can be set up to show you how to, to create those quiet spaces and to be able to take breaks even while holding your phone still. Nope. So we talked about the, the boundaries and maybe that this kind of bleeds into that too. Uh, tell me about some of the boundaries that you've set up also. Or, or, or suggestions I should say.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Yeah. So for me, a lot of my boundaries are those like creating safe spaces times mm-hmm. <affirmative> where I'm not getting bombarded by notifications. Like you said, mine goes, my phone notifications go off at nine forty five every night and I don't check those again until the morning. Um, which is why if late night slacks start happening, a lot of times I'm not a part of those conversations <laugh>. Um, I also have it on Sundays and those kind of things. And I really try to do the create distance between you and your phone thing a lot. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, just because I'm really bad about if my phone is next to me. Like the, have you ever heard people talk about like phantom vibrations? Oh yeah. Where like you think your phone went off Uhhuh but it didn't actually, I'm so bad about that. So I just go put it in a room and let it be away from me.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
So it's just not even a temptation. Um, but this is a section where we asked a lot of the folks in the office what types of tips they have. Um, and so Emily and Slayton talked about setting those time limits. The the ones that you were talking about where, um, it gives you a code to put in if you wanna get back on those apps. And Emily got her husband create the code so when she's done all her social media time for the day, she can't get back into the apps. Okay. Brandon has to go in and put the code in in order for her to get back onto those apps. Um, which hardcore, like
Speaker 1 (14:01):
That's very hardcore. I don't know if I could do that.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
That's a lot better than me. Cuz the last time I did that I made my own code and then I would just put it in and be like 15
Speaker 1 (14:09):
More minutes over that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
No big deal. Um,
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I see Sarah, Kate and Beth are both suggesting about the limiting number of apps or notifications that that pull in. Cause that is a setting that you can set up on your phone is to limit those notifications mm-hmm. <affirmative> as a way to respect that space. And then it looks like, uh, the sleep and focus mode is another suggestion. Uh, who, who suggested that one? Uh, it looks like part of all of us <laugh>. Yeah. But it actually talks about me in that, in that part of the article, it, it mentions my Sunday morning, uh, focus mode that I have set up for
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Myself. Yeah. One of the notification things that Beth suggested that I really hadn't thought about was with your, uh, apple Watch mm-hmm. <affirmative> changing the things that are sent to your Apple Watch versus the things that go to your phone. Because I think currently, like all of my notifications go to my Apple watch and so I'm constantly like,
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Well the newest, like when they updated just recently, it changed all my notification settings to the point I felt like I was constantly looking at my phone, not to mention just having wrist issues from working at a desk and it sitting right there, I stopped wearing mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But that's, that's a big deal for me. Yeah. Because like I was very much against the Apple watch to begin with cause I didn't want all those notifications and then I had it set up correctly and then it went back and I was like, oh, I could go back and change it, but in the end, just because my wrist was hurting, I was like, yeah, I'm, I think I'm done. Yeah. I haven't worn it for two weeks now. Well look at your, I know. It's, it's, it's, it's quite a change. So
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I don't know if I could do that. I think I'm attached to it at this point, but,
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Well, I I, it's like right now I don't have my phone in the studio. If us as, as recording Lauren does, she's, she, she has a timer so up. So we make sure we're respecting your time and, and we tell you a 15 to 20 minute podcast. We're aiming for that 15 to 20 minutes. And so she's got her clock pulled upon that. Um, back when we shot the, when we shot it, when we recorded the first episode, uh, Lauren had her phone in here and of course her, her husband tried to call us there in the middle of the podcast. So if you go back and listen to episode one, uh, you'll hear that, that section about the 15 minute mark. And then he, it was really funny cuz he, we told him he was our first interruption. So Sweet.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Speaker 1 (15:58):
<laugh>. Well, uh, some of the other things are more tips from some of our, our friends out there in the, in the, the media field. We won't go through and read all of those, uh, but I'll just kind of go through some bullet points and we'll kind of go back and forth. The first one was basically creating tech tech-free zones in your home, which I think is a great suggestion. Uh, we've talked about doing that, especially like at the dinner table at night, uh, basically saying you can't bring your phones to the table. Have we been good about that? Absolutely not <laugh>. Um, but it's the dream, you know, is to have that tech-free zone there, especially around the table or, or if we're watching a movie to make everyone go put their phones on the kitchen so that we can actually watch a movie together and, and not be distracted by playing games at the same time or anything.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yeah. A friend of mine actually has, they have all of their charging stations in the dining room. Hmm. Um, and so when they go to bed and when their kids go to bed, everybody takes all their devices. Oh, they wake up, they have an actual alarm clock. Alarm alarm clock. Imagine that. But yeah, so they're a hole upstairs is completely,
Speaker 1 (16:52):
But that would mess me up though cause I mean, I, I live by the alarm clock. Yeah. I mean it's got my whole little sleep schedule built into it and stuff. And it works for them, man. I guess that's the thing about this. Some of these suggestions we're talking about may not work for you, but maybe there's other ones that do. So yeah,
Speaker 2 (17:06):
The next tip that was on that list was burying apps annoyingly deep in folders, <laugh>, um, which is great suggestion. I never would've thought about that. But if you put the things that you're most likely to click on somewhere that's unusual or difficult to get to, you're much less likely to go to them. But if you have the new iPhone update, then I'm sure you know that if you swipe right, all of your most recent apps or
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Oh no. So this basically you can defeat this, you can defeat this tip. You just gave everyone a tip on how to defeat the tip. Sorry,
Speaker 2 (17:35):
That one doesn't work quite as well anymore. iPhone made sure, you know, Apple's always, they're always listening. It's
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Like, it's like they read our list or something and they're like, how can we defeat this? The next one was, uh, start with physical distance from your devices. Uh, still goes back to same thing thing we mentioned several times before, like you mentioned the family that puts it on together. Just actually putting it in a space where you're not there. You mentioned taking yours back to your room mm-hmm. <affirmative> and putting it there. That's a, that's a great tip.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Yeah. I like the, this one that says, occupy yourself with clearly established alternative activities. So <laugh> just making sure that you're not sitting there bored reaching for your phone. You know, give yourself an activity that's going on from a certain time. Cause I mean, that's true and we're all like, you know, doing things with our family or we're at a game gaming event or whatever it might be. Like, you're much less likely to look at that phone.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
So he, did you see what Mario's tip was? He said literally to be honest with yourself and address any underlying issues. Oh dig. Oh, he, he just like stabbed us. Like he
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Right to it and he was like, man. Hmm. Okay. You have to read that whole tip for Mario there and see what he said about that. Yeah. Next one was, uh, from set rules you can actually follow <laugh> <laugh>. We both laughed like, yeah, <laugh>, that's a great tip there. Uh, that was some, uh, from of a scooped up I believe that <laugh>. And then another one was a step out away to enforce your set boundaries, uh, using a kill switch to disconnect you at preset times. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I I'm guessing that would be kind of the, the same thing as using sleep mode. Yeah. Um, so that kind of basically all of our tips there that we had, uh, into the article. Uh, is there anything else you wanna add in Lauren?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
You know, social media is one of those things that I, I don't ever want people to read this article or hear us talk about it and feel like we're just downing social media cuz obviously, you know, yeah, we're not downing for me specifically. Like if it wasn't for social media, I wouldn't have this job. So I'm very thankful for social media and I think that it can do a lot of great things in our lives. I mean, one of the things that I talk about in the article is how social media has allowed me to connect with people and learn from people that I otherwise never would've met or known. And that's just so incredible that that's something we can do in this, you know, this time period. Like what an amazing time to be alive. You know, to be able to reach people from all parts of the world, all parts of the country that are from different backgrounds than you.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
And be able to not only learn from them, but also feel like you're kind of a part of their lives. Um, and that's just such a cool thing that I've really enjoyed about social media. So I don't ever want people to hear us, you know, dis social media and act like it's not a positive thing. But I think by setting these boundaries, not only does it allow us to protect ourselves, but it also allows us to enjoy social media for the goods that it can offer to our lives more, more frequently. So hopefully, um, some of these tips y'all can take and apply to your lives and maybe you'll have not only a better relationship with social media, but you'll enjoy your time on social media when you do have it even more.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Well Lauren, thank you for joining us again for our six episode. Yeah. Our second episode together. It's been great as always. Uh, all these topics that we've talked about on our blog, on our podcast, uh, can be firstname.lastname@example.org. Click on the, the blog section. You'll be able to see all those listed there. Uh, that, that we, we kind of talked about this at the very beginning about our next episode that we're gonna be doing the crazy thing. We're just going, going wild and crazy, Lauren, so you wanna tell us about this?
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah. So next week we're gonna just completely flip the script on you and I'm gonna be the host and Brian's gonna be the guest.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
The guest is gonna be the host and the host is gonna be the
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Guest. Lauren, no way. Be crazy. It's crazy on my work. <laugh>. Yeah. We'll be talking about increasing positive reviews and minimizing negative ones, whether that be on Google or on your Facebook, whatever it is. Um, so yeah, that'll be a fun topic.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Sure. Uh, uh, also dogwood media solutions.com to find us on social media. Uh, make sure you go there and follow us on social media. Get to see lots of food. We like to eat around here. I talk about that all the time. That that's not We post, we're really good about night post now, but there was a time there, there was a lot of food on the blog post. Yeah. On their own.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
And now that you say that it might be a Mok
Speaker 1 (21:29):
<laugh>. Oh, <laugh>. Don't tempt me, Lauren. Uh, so also remember to subscribe to our podcast if you want to make sure you get this podcast every time we issue a new one. Best way to do that. Subscribe, uh, whatever podcast platform you've chosen. We're on like 30 of 'em I think now. Uh, so definitely go in there, pick out with the one you want to subscribe to our podcast, and then we'll just see you right back here for our next subject where we're flipping the script. Well hope to have you back here next time. See you then.